Loss, Joy, Love, & Grief Co-mingled This Christmas
You don’t have to sugarcoat your life.
This Christmas allow yourself to miss and grieve the hard things in your life, the people you have lost, the circumstances and relationships that haven’t gone how you hoped.
Make room for joy and loss. The excitement of Christmas and the pain of grief.
Be kind to yourself and determine ways to honor any grief or loss you have this Christmas. Honor that loved person who you miss so much.
How?
Put a special ornament on the tree in honor of them. Put a small stocking up somewhere or a little angel or other meaningful item that signifies importance to you. This is an incredibly healthy way to celebrate Christmas and also acknowledge rather than dismiss the pain or grief you are experiencing. Those feelings and emotions can be so heavy at Christmas or other holidays. Make room for them. Give space for those feelings and emotions.
Honor that missed person you are grieving over.
Give room for grief, loss, and pain this Christmas amidst the bustle and parties and fun.
If it’s painful circumstances you are dealing with this Christmas, find an ornament or meaningful item that brings hope to you in the midst of your circumstances.
For me, on one difficult Christmas, I found an ornament/wooden tag that stated a Bible verse that talked on Hope. I clung to the words in that verse and on that item. I prayed and asked God to bring that hope. We went about doing the Christmas things, and I had something to set my mind on in the difficult aspect of life right then too.
For the loss of a loved one, I understand that grief. For the 2 angel babies that I will never hold in my arms or know on this side of heaven, I found ways to honor them at Christmas and remember their cherished and beloved little lives.
I honored their line up in our family. They have a place on our mantle alongside their siblings. I have a small stocking for each of them and they are placed in the line up of what number child they are. Placed between the much bigger stockings of the siblings we are raising and holding right now, they have a place in our lives. There is room for them in this season of Christmas. This year the grief is not raw for me, but it’s still there. It always will be.
There will always be loss, joy, love, & grief co-mingled with the loss of a loved one because their lives were incredibly meaningful.
This doesn’t diminish or alter the beautiful, joyful, and often exhausting work of raising the children God allowed us to get to hold and do life with. I’m incredibly grateful.
I love all of my children– those I hold in my arms and the ones who only are held in my heart.
Who are you missing and grieving this Christmas season? Honor them. Pause and consider what meaningful ways you would like to bring them into your Christmas traditions. It is not weird to do so.
It is incredibly healing to hold both grief and joy at the same time.
To give space for both. Allow yourself to do so. Be kind to yourself.
Please share in the comments how you are honoring and giving space for your loved one you are grieving, the loss you are experiencing, or how you are clinging to hope through the difficult circumstances this Christmas. Sharing that with trusted community can also be healing.
It can and should be Both. And. Both loss, grief, And joy, excitement. If you’ve never allowed yourself to do it, start right now, something small. It will be incredibly powerful and life-giving to do so.
Now, let me share that verse for you, friends, for you to also cling to hope this Christmas.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13, ESV)
Be blessed today, friends.
Know that we can abound in hope, not through our own will and might, but through the power of the Holy Spirit. Through God’s power. I want to be filled with all joy and peace and abound in hope, and thankfully, I’m not the one who does that. God is!
As I believe and trust in Him and ask Him to fill me with His hope, joy, and peace, He in turn hears my voice and comes alongside and does. It doesn’t mean my difficulties go away, but I’m not walking in them alone anymore. I am walking in the Holy Spirit’s power and hope. Thank you God.
He can do the same for you friend. If you haven’t talked to Him in awhile or ever, why not try it now. He’s right there waiting for you to make the first move, and He loves you deeply and unconditionally—more than anyone on this earth ever could—more than even the best human love you could ever experience.
Because God is love, all-love, and His love is perfect. Merry Christmas.
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2 Comments
JD
Though nobody will come right out and say it, there is a socially acceptable shelf life assigned to grief. It’s easy to empathetically offer appropriate sentiments in the immediate term once loss occurs in the life of another. But after a while, there begins to be a tone of “don’t you think it would be healthier if you moved on” in the comments of others. Benevolent as the intent may be, the message is the same—”you shouldn’t still be grieving over this.”
The result can take many forms, but this article is poignant to illustrate the healthy path to dealing with grief.
A less healthy, yet widespread, approach is to ‘put on a face’ and pretend that all is well. This avoids what has now become a socially awkward interaction and is an easy way to fit back in with those around you. During times where we’re supposed to be the happiest (holidays, e.g.), the urge to ‘pretend’ your way through life is even stronger. This establishes a precedent for hiding things from those closest to you—a slippery slope to be sure. I love the encouragement here to embrace the feelings we have, be honest about them, and lay them before the One who gives true strength.
This is a message to all of us, even those not actively grieving. Don’t put an expiration date on your empathy. Encourage genuine interactions and honest expressions of feeling. Guide others to the source of all truth instead of attempting to solve hurt with distraction.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18
Choose Joy In the Midst
Beautifully said. You are right—There is not an expiration on grief. Grief can look different at different seasons. As healing occurs, the raw pain might not be as sharp, but the loss and deep love will always be present. ❤️ Thank you for your insight and interaction.🙏